


When Magic Goes Nerdy

by Lady_Nemesis



Category: Original Work
Genre: D&D, Gen, Nerdy Vamps, Rogue Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:55:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23382661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Nemesis/pseuds/Lady_Nemesis
Summary: A rogue spell makes for an interesting situation when Dungeons & Dragons is involved.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	When Magic Goes Nerdy

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a much larger universe that I'm working on so the tags will likely change. Hope you enjoy it.

The notice suddenly appeared on the huge bulletin board in the foyer and those who witnessed it’s arrival were drawn to it by the glittery glowing letters. A small crowd gathered to read the Notice and hoped it wasn’t anything too bad. 

**_NOTICE!!_ **

_It is with utmost regret that I must inform you that all D &D games are cancelled until further notice due to circumstances too shameful to be mentioned in public. Updates on the situation will be posted as information becomes available. Thank you for your understanding at this very trying time. _

Loud groans sounded from the group and then the questions began. 

“Circumstances too shameful to be mentioned? What did they do? Lose the last set of dice?” Desdemona Beauchamp, one of the younger members of the Family asked, frowning. 

“Last set? What happened to all of the others? We put in money for 150 sets of D&D dice,” Francois Jones, a visiting vampire from Idaho exclaimed in his gravelly voice. 

“Augustus had heartburn and toasted the galaxy dice when he belched,” Desdemona reminded him and the vampire in question made a harrumphing sound. 

“And you crushed the orange ones when you summoned that Welsh cave troll to end BooBoo’s Quest for the Amethyst Wardrobe,” he retorted pompously. 

There was a snicker from somewhere behind Augustus and Francois spoke up. “I see you back there, Wolverman. Weren’t you the one who messed up the Arctica Spell and turned the gold ones into slow-melting ice cubes?” 

“You lisp once and no one forgets it,” the Canadian vampire laughed. 

“Those dice weren’t the only things that got turned into ice cubes, buster,” BooBoo Shimimura, a very buxom member of the Japanese branch of the Family retorted while hugging her chest. She wound up laughing though when Wolverman blew her a kiss. 

“Didn’t Norman accidentally curse that glow-in-the-dark set?” Wolverman asked and BooBoo nodded. 

“Yes...and they still roll around the halls every night singing _‘Barbie Girl’_. It’s quite creepy,” she agreed. 

Before any more could be said, another Notice appeared on the board. This one had a ‘Hazard’ symbol on it. “What now?” Francois sighed as they all clustered around the bulletin board once more. 

**_W A R N I N G!!_ **

_Be on the lookout for tiny, dice-sized teddy bears.  
They are hot pink in color and have neon green numbers on their bodies.  
If you find them, contact me (Norman the Skunkmaster) immediately.  
Do not attempt to apprehend them yourselves. The fuzzy little bastards have fangs and if your hand closes around them, they will bite. ___

__

____

**_N O T E:  
When I find out which of you inept, Harry Potter-reading douchecanoes cast that spell, you will live to regret it!!_ **

**__**

_**Lord Norman the Skunkmaster** _

____

____

“Lord Norman? More like Lord Moron,” Augustus huffed with a shake of his head. 

“He’s watched every Harry Potter movie at least twice,” Desdemona giggled and BooBoo nodded. 

“He has the books too. I saw him shove ‘Deathly Hallows’ into his window seat when I brought my uncle to see him,” she reported and a few gasps sounded. She started to speak when a high-pitched scream came from down the front hall. 

A moment later, Gidgie Spirodakis literally flew into sight, his iridescent blue-green robes streaming behind him as he passed them, his scream trailing off as he disappeared down the far hall. 

“What was wrong with him?” Wolverman asked curiously, looking down the hall. Francois shrugged and then stopped, a frown creasing his smooth forehead as he listened closely. BooBoo listened closely as well, a look of dawning horror coming over her face. 

“Is that-?” BooBoo began and then gasped. 

“Barbie Girl!” they all chorused and BooBoo let out a scream as seven glow-in-the-dark dice rolled through the foyer singing loudly. Balancing on them like itty bitty circus performers were tiny hot pink teddy bears with neon green numbers on their bodies adding their tinny voices to the chorus as they rolled along. 

They all stared down the hall, watching the little figures as they rolled around a corner. “Whoever cast that spell deserves to be head of the Family,” Desdemona whispered in awe. 

“I’ll put them forward personally,” Augustus murmured, looking suitably impressed. 

“I’ll second it,” Wolverman put in. 

“That was freaking amazing,” BooBoo said softly, giving a little laugh. 

Francois looked down the hall where the tiny figures had gone. “They’re heading for the kitchen,” he mused and Desdemona laughed. “This I’ve got to see.”

They trooped down the hall and headed for the kitchen. The cook was notoriously petrified of anything that resembled mice and, if you tilted your head just right, the teddy bears looked a lot like mice.


End file.
